Explanation Time
by Snaylor
Summary: Jac and Jonny discussing Jac's pregnancy. Set around Divided We Fall
1. Jonnys Choice

**Jac's P.O.V.**

"I take it it's mine"

"No its Oliver's of course it's yours, contrary to popular believe I don't sleep around"

"So what are you going to do then?"

This is the moment she had been waiting for, the moment she would have to explain everything. She would have to explain to Jonny why she's going to keep her baby and she's going to have to explain to him why she was so scared of the outcome. But this time she had to tell him no more excuses. She sighed as she reached into her desk draw and pulled out a file, a file named Jacqueline Burrows.

"I'm going to keep it and as much as I hate to admit it I can't do this alone, I will need your support. But for you to support my decisions and actions you need to understand me and to do that you need to know about my past."

"No I don't"

"Yes you do I know you've searched for my file. So I will give you a choice either I give you my file and you read the border line facts and don't actually get any answers or you trust me to tell you anything and everything that is relevant to me being here in my office with you right in this moment in time."

It was stupid to give him a choice she knew which one he would choose. He wanted to know what was going on in her head, he desperately wants to know why she is the Ice Queen, why she doesn't appear to have feelings and most importantly he wants to know why she pushes him, the one person she can't live without, so far away from her he could be on the other side of the world. 


	2. First Things First

**Jonny's P.O.V**

"I trust you, you don't need to tell me all in one go just take your time"

He could see in her eyes the pain that opening up to him will cause. He finally realised that letting somebody in would be one of the hardest things Jac Naylor will ever have to do in her life, but if he was going to find out what makes Jac Naylor tick then he might as well hear it from the horse's mouth, rather than reading a couple of facts and then jumping to a conclusion that could be completely wrong.

**Jac's P.O.V**

She was right of course she was right after all Jac Naylor was never wrong. It was just that part of her hoped that Jonny would have picked to read the file so she wouldn't have to tell him her life story. It's not that she didn't trust Jonny not to spread her past around the hospital, she knew he wouldn't it was more the fact that by telling him about his past then she will have to think about it and she still didn't quiet trust herself to not let her emotions show (which was something she didn't want to do anywhere near the hospital) after all her past was a pure living hell she wouldn't even wish it on her worst enemy Chrissie.

"Well I suppose you ought to know that the reason you couldn't dig up any dirt on me from before Medical School is because I changed my name. My real name is..."

"Jac it's alright just take your time"

"My real name is Jacqueline Burrows. I changed my name because I didn't want everybody knowing about my past. I just wanted to be treated as a normal person, you understand that don't you. I should also make sure that you understand that after I've told you about my past, no sympathy, no treating me differently after all I am still the same Jac Naylor, and no gossiping. If I hear anything I tell you in here repeated out there you will die the most horrible death you can think of"

"I wouldn't expect anything else from the mighty Jac Naylor and do you think I would be stupid enough let alone inconsiderate enough to let the whole hospital know about your past you should learn to trust me more. Anyway why would I treat you any differently after all as you said you are still the same good old Jac Naylor that we know and have grown to love?"

"Because I wouldn't even wish some of the things I have been through onto Chrissie and you know how much I hate her."


	3. Who Is My Dad?

**I know Jac never knew her dad but I wrote this before we found out.**

* * *

**Jonny's P.O.V.**

Well he defiantly knew how much Jac hated Chrissie but he couldn't imagine anything that Jac wouldn't want Chrissie to go through. This was going to be interesting but he knew if he didn't let Jac lead the conversation she would just block him out and build up her walls again. That was something he didn't want. He was going to understand Jac Naylor if it's the last thing he does. So he just sat and waited for Jac to feel comfortable enough to speak, Comfortable enough to let him in that little bit more.

**Jac's P.O.V.**

She just sat behind her desk waiting for it to sink in. She could see Jonny trying to put together in his mind what kind of traumatic past she had and she also knew none of them were going to be close to the real thing. But it wasn't until she was sure Jonny had stopped thinking that she continued.

"I can't remember my father that well I just remember a man who was constantly drunk. A man that if I moved just a tiny bit or made the smallest of sounds would get his belt out a whip me and would frequently lock me in a cupboard without food or water. My last and most vivid memory of him was when on my 6th birthday and he was in the middle of whipping me and suddenly bent over screaming in agony. I called an ambulance and went with him to hospital. He died on the way there turns out years of drinking isn't too good for the old liver so my Mother took me home and that was that."

She paused for a little while just to let Jonny get his head around what she had just told him.


	4. My Mother

**Jonny's P.O.V.**

He knew there was more to the story but he was thankful to Jac for giving him time to get his head straightened out and to prepare for worse things to come because he knew that being abused when she was six wouldn't be the only trouble and the things to come would be much much worse but he couldn't think of anything worse than a child being whipped and then left in a cupboard without food or water. So whatever came next wasn't going to be pretty and he needed to prepare for it.

**Jac's P.O.V.**

His mind has stopped whirling and it looks as if he has prepared himself for worse things to come good job really because she didn't want him to be too shocked about the next chapters of her life. Now she knows he is prepared she should carry on and tell him about her Mother so she started off with a few questions that she already knew the answer to and didn't give Jonny time to answer until the last question

"Did your mum ever tell that she loved you?" Jac asked already knowing the answer.

"Yes" Jonny answered confused at where Jack was going with this.

"Did your mum ever tell you she appreciated what you did, that you had done a good job? Did your mum ever hug you?" Jack asked once again getting a confused "yes" in reply

"Did your mum ever tell you everything would be ok when the world seemed a horrid place? Did your mum ever make you a homecooked meal or buy you new clothes that you desperately needed?" Jac continued on, confusing Jonny even more whilst he kept on answering "yes".

"Did your mum ever say she missed you or comfort you after a bad dream? Did your mum ever ask you what the matter was? Did your mum ever remember your birthday?" Jack asked Jonny one more time. As always the answer was "yes"

Jac didn't really need him to answer she knew it would be a yes from the offset she just needed him to see just how negligent her mother was. She paused for a little while because she could see Jonny trying to figure out why she was asking about his mum when they were supposed to be talking about hers but she decided to tell him rather than leave him in the dark any longer

"Well mine didn't. I would have to ask her if she loved be and even then I never got a straight answer it was always "what do you think?" she wouldn't say thank you every day after I cleaned the house went shopping and cooked dinner. I worked hard at school and got full marks and she didn't even bat an eyelid. My mum couldn't bear to touch me it was as if I was cursed and if she touched me she would die. She would tell me to go away and that I was being stupid if I ever ran to her in the middle of the night because of a bad dream so I stayed in bed and comforted myself. When I went away on school trips my mum wouldn't even notice I was gone and every 19th of April I would have to bake my own cake and celebrate my birthday on my own, there was nobody there to sing happy birthday and wish I had a good day, there was no presents and I would have to go to school and pretend like I got everything on my birthday list so that I wouldn't get bullied and then one day when I was 12 my mum stopped the car on the M1 told me to get out, drove off to the airport then flew off to India leaving me standing there all alone on one of the busiest roads in England." Jac informed Jonny dropping the bombshell watching the shock and horror appear on his face.


	5. Happily Ever Afters Don't Exist

**Jonny's P.O.V.**

So she was abandoned when she was 12. Well actually she was only physically abandoned when she was 12 it sounds as if she was abandoned in every other way long before. This helped him understand her a little bit better he knew he was a long way off of understand her fully but at least now he can understand why she doesn't admit to feeling anything apart from hate towards anybody. Because she is scared that if she gets too attached to anybody they will do what they always did and just left her there.

**Jac's P.O.V.**

She could see the cogs whirling around in his head as he only just began to understand her. So far she had only told him about the first 12 years of her life there was still certain events in her life that he didn't know there is so much that she wanted him to know.

"After that I...I got taken in to care. My first year there was uneventful I kept myself to myself I would wake up, go to school, do my homework, eat my dinner, talk to my shrink and then go off to bed. In the weekends I would just sit and stare in to space. I wouldn't talk to anybody if it wasn't necessary, I wouldn't sit in front of the TV or listened to music, I didn't have any hobbies I just sat there in my own little world. But a year after I had been in the system a boy named Toby was admitted as a resident. He had been in at least 10 other children homes before he came to ours. He didn't pick on any of the others because they were either old enough to fight back or young enough to be protected by the care workers and of course I was a prime target because I didn't have a friends or anybody to talk to, once again I was alone in the world with nobody there to help me when I needed help the most. I told my shrink but of course because nobody saw or heard anything he said or did so I was called a liar. I got fed up with being bullied so I set about getting fostered, which is easier said than done especially at 13 nobody wants to foster a stroppy teenage girl with a track record of lying, any way I found a couple that appeared to be quite nice we met a few times got the fostering approved and within a couple of months I had moved in with them and started a new life. A life where all I had to worry about was when I was going to do my homework, a life where everything was perfect. I should have known better then to believe that there was such a thing as a happy ending."


	6. Will He Cope?

**Jonny's P.O.V.**

She had been bullied. It had never dawned on him that Jac Naylor the Ice Queen could of been bullied. But then again she had taken matters in to her own hands and helped herself when others failed to do so which is something he could imagine her doing. But what did she mean by saying she should have known better than to believe that there was such a thing as a happy ending? She was 13 and had already dealt with a Father who abused her, a Mother who neglected and then abandoned her and a Boy who bullied her. Man if he was in her shoes he wouldn't have even made it that far in his life let alone find it in him to carry on. He wasn't sure if he could listen to any more of this but he needed to know the other half of the story he knew what came next wouldn't be pretty but he needed to understand her. If not for their sakes for the sake of their unborn child, he needed to be able to support her in every possible way he could. So he will stay hear the rest of the story and then maybe just maybe this baby could have a relatively normal life with a mum and a dad that both understood each other and got along like the adults they were.

**Jac's P.O.V.**

He obviously hadn't prepared he self enough because he just sat there in shock maybe she should of told him slower given it a bit longer to sink in allowed him time to get his head around what she had told him before she moved on to the next chapter of her life. Maybe this whole telling him idea wasn't the best idea she had had in a long time maybe she should leave it at that and not tell him anymore of her life, after all if he can't cope with what she had just told him then how was he going to cope with the next couple of chapters of her life they were quite unbelievable. She is even amazed that she got through it.

"Look perhaps we should leave it at that for now. After all you get the general idea now."

"No, Carry on don't let me stop you after all we both know that if we leave it at that we will never come back, because you will build your walls up and shut me out again and that way I will never fully be able to understand you therefore I will never be able to fully support you which isn't what you want is it."

"No your right it's not what I want but if you can't get your head around what happed to me by the time I was 13 there is no way you will be able to what comes next."

"It's not that I can't cope it's that I was thinking about how much you have been through and what I would do if I was in your shoes. And I was also thinking that nobody gives you half as much respect as you deserve."

"Well then if you're sure I will carry on where was I up to?"


End file.
